Various Concepts to Expose

There are just too many things in the world these days that are under the guise of being good for you, protecting you, helping you, etc. and they are mostly counter productive, so I just have to say what I think from an objective point of view.

I have spoken about some of these points in length in other writing, so I will keep this writing brief on each topic and to the point.

Boundaries are a prison, not protection

Boundaries are walls, but they trap you in, making you fearful of anyone crossing those boundaries. Think about your boundaries, things that you do not want other people to do or say to you. When you are in various situations, do you ever think to yourself, I hope no one does....and does that cause you anxiety in case it happens? Is the creation of anxiety the point of a USEFUL attitude like a boundary is supposed to be?

Additionally, boundaries are you telling other people what they can or cannot do. That is very arrogant and controlling, and flat out rude. How dare you tell other people what they are allowed to say or think. Where is their freedom of being who they are? You are removing that, you are playing god with their life.

But of course, you do not want to let anyone tell you what to do, so your boundaries are one way, and when two people meet and both have one way boundaries, how can they ever merge.

What happens when you are dating someone, they are wonderful, or just a coworker, and then it comes up, on a certain topic, that you both have a boundary on that topic but your boundaries contradict each other? You want someone to not do a certain thing, but they have a boundary that is the opposite, that they do not want to be told not to do that thing.

A simple example would be, I do not like cheese, so when we are together, and eating together is unavoidable, I do not want you to eat cheese. You have a boundary that says you will not accept anyone telling you what to eat or not eat.

BOOM, your boundaries have just blown up the relationship. Who wins? Who's boundaries get to rule the situation? Two mountains clashing, instead of two clouds merging by letting each one eat or not eat what they want.

Think about this, and reevaluate your boundaries to see if they are right to impose on others, if you like it when people impose their rules on you, and in the end, what matters most, your ego controlling other people to abide by your boundaries, or having loving harmonious relationships without fear or stress.

Love languages, another one of the foolish inventions that is meant to help relationships but in fact limits them.

Why choose one language? Why focus on one way of showing or demanding love? Is there really anyone who has only one way they want to be shown love and cannot feel or accept another of the different ways? Even if you say that is your preference, why reject love in any form of expression?

Stop limiting yourself with narrowing ways to demand how you are shown love, and accept love in any way a person is willing to give it.

Be multi-lingual, show and accept love in every way it is expressed, feel the emotion instead of the manner it is given. We want love, so just give love the way you want, each moment is different, and accept it in the way you get it, or ask for more.

If you think your love language is touch and affection, but you are travelling in a country which is very conservative, so public affection would be inappropriate, and your partner instead is telling you loving things all day, does that mean you will not feel love? Take what you get in every way and stop narrowing your view, because if you meet someone and say your language is touch, but they think that their language is in another way, you may not even take the time to get to know each other, and miss out when it was all an imaginary concept anyway. What a pity to miss out.

Is love only shown by touch, if that is what you want? Would that mean that you would not feel the love if I put a glass of water by your bedside every night? Isn't the show of care and thoughtfulness a show of love? With the concept of love languages, if you focus on one, would you miss out the way love is shown in other ways? Would you prefer to be loved in one way, or in five? Forget this concept and just be open to letting everyone show love the way they show it.

Do good and good will come to you. Big lie. That is not true and for a simple reason. Doing good means a selfless act, but if you think that if you do good then good things will come to you, then every good thing you do is a selfish act, because you are thinking you will get something in return, therefore it is not truly good.

You can't avoid this, even if you say to yourself that you are not doing it to get something back, if you believe something like do good and good will come back, the fact that you believe it means you are always going to think you will get something, so you are subconsciously and essentially acting selfishly in every deed, so the lie is, you are never actually doing anything truly good.

Aside from that, it simply does not happen and if it does, it is random chance. If you do something good and something good happens to you, that is random events. You may want to imagine they are connected, but that is just living in imagination which means, you are not living in reality, which means, you are going to be missing out of many things in life that you will not even know you are missing, because you are living in an imaginary world seeing only what you want, making or ignoring connections that do not exist, and that cannot end well.

It's not for me, it's for you, for your own safety

This one really gets me, not that the perpetrator does it so often, but that humans are so foolish that they fall for it.

The wife wants to go on a vacation, so when the husband comes home from work, she tells him; "Honey, you look tired, you don't look so good, you need a vacation. Of course I will come with you to keep you company, but you really need a vacation, we need to go for your sake."

Stores claim they are being environmentally friendly and no longer give bags for free, but they will charge for a bag and give it to you anyway. All it does is increase the profits by selling the bags they used to give for free. If they really cared about the environment, they would just stop offering bags at all.

Watch for anyone who tells you something, you should do, or not do, or buy, that is for your own good. If they make a profit on it, then it is for their good, so watch how they manipulate you.

The so called self-help gurus who charge huge amounts of money for their books and courses tell you that it is for your own good, they thank you for wanting to help yourself, they use all the gimmicks I am sure you have experienced, but in the end of the weekend, by the following Tuesday, you are the same as you were on Friday before, but they are $10,000 richer. Good for who???

Watch out for everything everywhere, everyone, regard everything with this simple test; Never take the advice of someone who will profit from your loss. With every advice you are given, just think; what if it goes wrong, what will happen to me, and what will happen to them.

If your lawyer writes a contract and says this is good for you, what if there is a problem? You have to go back to the lawyer, and maybe court. You will lose and the lawyer gets a new BMW. Therefore, you cannot trust his advice, your loss is his gain. BUT, if you go to a lawyer to write the contract who does NOT do litigation. In that case, he has nothing to gain if you have a problem and have to go to court, because he will not fight in court and you will have to get a different lawyer to fight. But he will lose if you lose, because his reputation will show he wrote a bad contract. So in this case, if you lose, he loses. Therefore, that lawyer can be trusted. I hope this example shows you how to judge who to trust.

As soon as you hear the words, 'for your own safety', "It's for you, I get nothing from it" "I care about you and worry about you, I want to help you, protect you..." THINK for yourself, analyse with a skeptical mind, assuming that everything is a trick to manipulate you and get something out of you.

This sounds like a negative way to live but it is not, in fact I love it. I have so much fun with this view because of the simple difference that I have which you have assumed the opposite.

You think this means everyone is evil and out to cheat you. I think that everyone is just a human animal living through their own fears and needs of self preservation and they do not think about how they effect other people, and in fact, can convince and lie to themselves that they sincerely do want to help you, but they really only want to help themselves.

That is human nature, and you are exactly the same. So when you accept the laws of nature that rule the human self preservation instinct, then all this becomes a fun game to find out where the trick is, because it is not happening all the time. Really, how often are you in a situation when there is a potential of significant loss due to being manipulated, not much. So it is a way to sharpen your mind, and make every day a fun adventure in playing detective.

Let's combine manipulation with destroying your self-confidence

A powerful way to manipulate is by instilling fear in any way. By saying this is very dangerous, they are basically saying you are not capable of dealing with that or any situation.

When it is something simple, that means you are really incapable, and they get you to agree to stupidities and even ask them to do it for you, of course at a high cost. You happily give up your rights and ability to think for yourself but worst of all, you give up your self-confidence that you are capable of doing anything.

Governments, parents, school teachers all do this to make sure you, and the masses, are easy to control. If you believe that you are not capable, or that it is dangerous without thinking logically about the risks or process, then you are letting them instil fear in you and your ability to do the simplest things, like sit down...

There is a city with a very hot climate in summer, where they have long air conditioned bridges crossing the 8 lanes of highway to get to the train which runs on the other side. The air-condition system and other engineering things to hold up the bridges are of course covered with a nice metal covering that is very large and comfortable to sit on, less than a meter high and a meter deep. This is a closed bridge, so there are big and strong windows behind this covering that you could sit on, and no way to fall off.

There are signs everywhere in the bridges that say; "Do not sit here for your own safety". If they said not so sit there, people would, but by saying it is for your safety, people do not sit and thank them for the limitation under the guise of being protected.

Seriously, how dangerous can it be to sit on something less than a meter high. The point is, they do not want people loitering and sitting there to enjoy the air conditioning on a hot day, so they manipulate people by saying it is for their own safety, and people are stupid enough to believe it.

The more fear and doubt you have about your own abilities that people put in your mind for the simplest things, the lower your self-confidence will be. Do things, think for yourself, take chances, have courage, use wisdom of course, but don't let people stop you just by saying it is dangerous.

Manipulation with Guilt trick, put it on a third person

The trick of this form of manipulation is to put the onus on a third person and not on himself. When someone is trying to get you to do something, and they say that they really would let you off the hook and do what you want, that they would not ask for this or refuse your request, but it would not be fair to another person so they have to force you to comply, then you know for sure, this is a scam.

Look at who benefits, and look at who suffers, and then consider the simple reality that, you are not everyones parent, you are not responsible for everyone, or anyone, and that if you can get a better deal than someone else, good for you. There is no reason for you to suffer, sacrifice, overpay, or whatever they are trying to get out of you, because someone else got screwed, if that is even true.

That soft heart is a weak heart which will get you abused, and then you may give in and say, it's all good' and 'if I do good, good things will come back to me'. Or they may tell you those lies.

Sometimes we have to give in to some things, follow laws or rules that we do not like, that is life, but just do not believe their scam to say it is for your benefit. Know the truth, see the lie, and know that everything is just a manipulation to use and abuse as many people as possible, and to keep everyone ignorant of the truth so they are easy to control, and herd the sheep in the farm for slaughter.