Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem

The core of self-esteem is understanding the difference between hardware and software.

Is it a bug in the software or the machine.

When you do something wrong or stupid, remember that it is not about you, but you using the information you have to make your decision.

You are the hardware, your knowledge and skills are the software. Both are constantly changing and learning.

That information is not just what you know, but how you have been programmed to respond to situations through no fault of your own, it is just how humans are raised to be defective. You did not choose to learn wrong things or wrong behaviour, that was imposed on you by circumstance.

However, that is no excuse for bad behaviour, it is simply explaining what you are now, but now it is up to you to improve.

Don[']{dir="rtl"}t take it personally, learn to separate you from the information.

Because you do not know how to do something now, or got something wrong, that does not mean that you will never get it right. If you feel inadequate and your self-esteem gets delicate, that means you have accepted you will never learn. This is a false belief.

You have learnt so much up to this point in your life, remember that.

Now remember that as you have learnt things up to now, you can learn things going forward, and then next time you will get it right.

Low self-esteem is based entirely on the false belief that you should know and be able to do everything now, already, without having any training or learning or experience. That is simply impossible.

If you remind yourself of this simple reality every time your confidence is down or your fear is up, eventually you will not be scared or intimidated by anyone, and can simply accept the reality that it takes doing something wrong a few times until you can do it right.

Self esteem is also relative to knowing who you are, are you worthy or not. Here is a very good and simple way to improve your self view.

Pay your debts.

That is not just money, it is knowledge, skills, things like how to tie your shoes or count. Someone taught you those things, but at that young age you never thought to thank them, and so you have an unpaid debt.

Like it or not, your subconscious is a very powerful recorder that knows every single moment of your life, and it knows what you have done right or wrong, and that produces your feelings of guilt or confidence.

If you borrowed money from someone and did not pay them back, you would always be careful to avoid meeting that person, you would hide in the shadows and cower away if they were nearby.

That is what is behind a person with low self esteem that they cannot understand the cause of. Your subconscious knows you do not pay your debts, do not give back for what you get, do not respect other people, etc. so you KNOW you are not a good person.

How to pay your debts and release subconscious guilt of taking without giving, which makes your mind think you are not worthy of anything?

Make a list of everything anyone has given you or done for you or benefited you in any way.

Send them a thank you note, a small gift, take them for a meal, anything at all to show your gratitude.

If you cannot find or contact that person, then write them a note and file it in a folder called; "Thank you".

This goes right back to your birth, who taught you everything you know that you would not have learnt on your own.

Do not disregard the power of this exercise, do it and find out what it can do for your self worth and confidence.

It does not cost you anything and does not have to be done in one sitting, you can put in 15 minutes a day and just keep doing it until you run out of anyone left that you need to thank.

In financial aspects, consider that if you do not feel worthy and worth the money, then no one else will. But if you know your character is worth more than gold, that your word has true value because you stand behind what you say, then others will see that value and be willing to pay.

A test is, if you think you are very honourable and stand behind what you say, and yet your self esteem is delicate, then you know you are lying to yourself, and to everyone else. Test it and prove the truth by writing down every thing you say you will do, no matter how small, and review that list daily to see if you actually do keep your word to the letter.